Category: Writers Block
In my blood once
Magic ran with music like water
In my soul once
Melodies coalesced in harmonic pictures,
In my bones there was once
A rhythm as old as Time,
Beating within my mind...
Then one day
It was gone
My music and soul
Had moved on.
Where there was magic
There was now dust
I had done
What I knew I must.
The shadow procession walks behind me,
The murky whirlpool lies ahead,
The land may give out from beneath me
I may walk among the dead,
But where the sun shines
In pale bright illusions of light
I have seen many minds
Flutter beyond the edge of sight.
Have you ever been there
The place behind the sun
What is grey moon-shadow like
The ghost remains outshone.
Where once there was magic
There now was dust
I then I had done
What I knew that I must.
If you walk with me
Through the sunlit garden of life
I will then depart
The illusory place of light.
You will soon find me
Wandering lost in melody
Unable to conjure the memory
To find the music within me.
Where once there was magic
There now is only dust
We have all done
What we know that we must.
Send for the stars
Relearn how to fly
It was time
The sun had to die.
There now is no light
In the lonely night.
No dawn will brighten
The cold northern skies.
Out of high places
The night will extend
And we will be living
In the time of the end.
There is no love
There is no life
For this lonely world
In this cold night,
No spark in the dark
No sight of the light
No dream remains as it seems
Falling words go only unheard.
Where once there was magic
There is now only dust
Eternity has done
What we knew that it must.
Oh! ... I don't remember writing this! It couldn't be me because ... I can't write like that! That's just ... just ... *sigh* omg I'd love to be able to write like that, and apparently I posted it ... It feels like it should have some haunting melody behind it but I won't even touch the keyboard, I couldn't write a melody fit for that.
I had a problem with one particular line. I don’t know if it’s intentional or not, but this makes not too much sense
“I then I had done”
It was probably a mistake, none of us are perfect, but oh my god! Your an awesome writer! Brilliant!
It's meant to have music behind it, I think, reading it back I can almost hear it. That line is a bit of a problem, maybe it should be "Then I had done" but it's a bit of a different structure and despite the error, it might not actually flow as well without it.
You should rewrite so it fits and makes grammatical sense.
It's musical, dammit. A melody fits to it. And if you haven't noticed, certain structures go better with certain melodies. If all our songs made "grammatical sense" we'd have some shitty music.
Dam right! Not everything has to be perfect, not everything has to go in a box. Go Iyana!
I thought I'd post here simply so there wouldn't be fifty Rachel posts directly on top...